This is the transcript for the film, Food Chain Climbers: Tanning Bed Masks.
THIS MOTION PICTURE HAS BEEN RATED
| PG-13 | Parents Strongly Cautioned (MPAA) |
| SOME MATERIAL MAY BE INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN UNDER 13 |@
| Some Sexual Material, Mild Thematic Elements and Brief Language Including Censorship |
BY THE CLASSIFICATION AND RATING ADMINISTRATION
MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA
Chapter 1: Traveling to HawaiiEdit
- 2012 Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer logo
- 1999 Screen Gems logo
- 2013 Universal Pictures logo
- 2016 Illumination Entertainment logo from The Secret Life of Pets
- 2015 Blinding Edge Pictures logo
Chapter 12: Zachary and Olivia's Opinions About SwitzerlandEdit
(Zachary and Olivia are outside in their swimsuits.)
Zachary: You think Switzerland is hotter than Hawaii?
Olivia: Of course not!
Zachary: You think Switzerland has sunscreen in its stores?
Olivia: Of course they do!
Zachary: And oh yeah, and that's for you, Heathcliff!
Olivia: You're a cat, so you don't need sunscreen because you're a...(Heathcliff appears)...cat?
Heathcliff: You said something about Switzerland.
Zachary: Uh, we were having opinions about it.
Heathcliff: Oh, yeah? What do you think of that place? Is it hot as it is?
Olivia: Nope. Come on, Heathcliff, seriously. You seriously have to run before...(a flame appears on Heathcliff)...(beep)! Before you set on fire! Or wait, are you angered about something?
Heathcliff: Not at all. I touched a match on accident. And now it's stuck in my arm.
Zachary: What's gonna set on fire, your bones?!
Heathcliff: In many ways, yes. But...you can think about that while you two are in bed.
Olivia: NO, we won't! Seriously, you have to--(Heathcliff sets on fire)
Heathcliff: Bring on the fire, suckers!
Zachary: (grabs a fire extinguisher) And that is just it for today of cartoon characters getting themselves killed!
(Zachary uses the fire extinguisher on Heathcliff, who screams as he gets covered in foam.)
Zachary: (puts the fire extinguisher aside and he chuckles) Holy (beep)! Did you see that?
Olivia: (kisses Zachary on the cheek) You actually saved my life!
Zachary: No, I was right with you when that happened.
Olivia: I know how to make this interesting. (she hops on Zachary's shoulders)
Zachary: Wait, no, Liv! Why do you have to do this?
Sophia (off screen): You assholes!
(Sophia, Abworker and Achmed appear.)
Zachary: So, does this foam pit look as bad as it looks?
Achmed: I smell the scent of animal cruelity in this pit!
Olivia: Oh, so fire extinguishers can't be used at all times. Wait, Abworker. Tell us what happened to Heathcliff.
Abworker: You tell us, Liv.
Olivia: (gets off Zachary's shoulders) Okay! We were having opinions about Switzerland.
Zachary: No! Well, yes, actually. This was an emergency! Heathcliff set himself on fire!
Sophia: Makenzie, Matt and Ashlynn will see this pit...soon enough. (she, Abworker and Achmed leave)
Olivia: (as she and Zachary approach Makenzie, Matt and Ashlynn) Oh, come on! The opinions happened before that!
Ashlynn: Zach and Liv, you idiots! (Olivia sighs heavily)
Matt: And this foam pit right here, shows a dead body under it.
Ashlynn: Which means you bastards extinguished Heathcliff and made him suffocate under the foam!
Makenzie: You two should be ashamed of yourselves. (she, Matt and Ashlynn leave)
Zachary: Well, it wasn't our fault, Makenzie! It was an emergency. Go tell Achmed that we couldn't save him in time. (he and Olivia make a tower with themselves)
Olivia: And speaking of, that fire extinguisher you used needs to go...(she does a split on Zachary's back)...whoa! Hello, razor! Glad to be your partner.
Zachary: (sighs heavily while Olivia frowns) (Beep) you, Switzerland!
Chapter 28: End CreditsEdit
Sophia and Abworker | Amy Schumer
Zachary | Trevor Noah
Olivia | Jessica Williams
Makenzie | Nicki Glasser
Achmed | Matt Stone
Matt and Ashlynn | Larry Wilmore
Heathcliff | Morgan Freeman
- 2016 Illumination Entertainment prototype logo from The Secret Life of Pets
- Screen Gems closing logo
- Universal Pictures closing logo