This is the transcript for the film, Food Chain Climbers: Tanning Bed Masks.


| PG-13 | Parents Strongly Cautioned (MPAA) |


| Some Sexual Material, Mild Thematic Elements and Brief Language Including Censorship |





​Chapter 1: Traveling to HawaiiEdit

​Chapter 12: Zachary and Olivia's Opinions About SwitzerlandEdit

​(Zachary and Olivia are outside in their swimsuits.)

​Zachary: ​You think Switzerland is hotter than Hawaii?

Olivia: ​Of course not!

Zachary: ​You think Switzerland has sunscreen in its stores?

Olivia: ​Of course they do!

Zachary: ​And oh yeah, and that's for you, Heathcliff!

Olivia: You're a cat, so you don't need sunscreen because you're a...(Heathcliff appears)

​Heathcliff: ​You said something about Switzerland.

Zachary: ​Uh, we were having opinions about it.

​Heathcliff: ​Oh, yeah? What do you think of that place? Is it hot as it is?

Olivia: ​Nope. Come on, Heathcliff, seriously. You seriously have to run before...(a flame appears on Heathcliff)...(beep)​! Before you set on fire! Or wait, are you angered about something?

Heathcliff: ​Not at all. I touched a match on accident. And now it's stuck in my arm.

Zachary: ​What's gonna set on fire, your bones?!

Heathcliff: ​In many ways, yes. can think about that while you two are in bed.

Olivia: ​NO, we won't! Seriously, you have to--(Heathcliff sets on fire)

​Heathcliff: ​Bring on the fire, suckers!

Zachary: ​(grabs a fire extinguisher) And that is just it for today of cartoon characters getting themselves killed!

​(Zachary uses the fire extinguisher on Heathcliff, who screams as he gets covered in foam.)

Zachary: ​(puts the fire extinguisher aside and he chuckles) Holy ​(beep)​! Did you see that?

Olivia: ​(kisses Zachary on the cheek) You actually saved my life!

Zachary: ​No, I was right with you when that happened.

Olivia: ​I know how to make this interesting. (she hops on Zachary's shoulders)

Zachary: ​Wait, no, Liv!  Why do you have to do this?

​Sophia (off screen): ​You assholes!

​(Sophia, Abworker and Achmed appear.)

Zachary: ​So, does this foam pit look as bad as it looks?

​Achmed: ​I smell the scent of animal cruelity in this pit!

​Olivia: ​Oh, so fire extinguishers can't be used at all times. Wait, Abworker. Tell us what happened to Heathcliff.

​Abworker: ​You tell us, Liv.

Olivia: ​(gets off Zachary's shoulders) Okay! We were having opinions about Switzerland.

Zachary: No! Well, yes, actually. This was an emergency! Heathcliff set himself on fire!

Sophia: ​Makenzie, Matt and Ashlynn will see this pit...soon enough. (she, Abworker and Achmed leave)

​Olivia: ​(as she and Zachary approach Makenzie, Matt and Ashlynn) Oh, come on! The opinions happened before that!

Ashlynn: ​Zach and Liv, you idiots! (Olivia sighs heavily)

Matt: ​And this foam pit right here, shows a dead body under it.

​Ashlynn: ​Which means you bastards extinguished Heathcliff and made him suffocate under the foam!

​Makenzie: ​You two should be ashamed of yourselves. (she, Matt and Ashlynn leave)

Zachary: ​Well, it wasn't our fault, Makenzie! It was an emergency. Go tell Achmed that we couldn't save him in time. (he and Olivia make a tower with themselves)

Olivia: ​And speaking of, that fire extinguisher you used needs to go...(she does a split on Zachary's back)...whoa! Hello, razor! Glad to be your partner.

Zachary: ​(sighs heavily while Olivia frowns) (Beep) you, Switzerland!

​Chapter 28: End CreditsEdit


Sophia and Abworker | Amy Schumer

Zachary | Trevor Noah

Olivia | Jessica Williams

Makenzie | Nicki Glasser

Achmed | Matt Stone

Matt and Ashlynn | Larry Wilmore

Heathcliff | Morgan Freeman

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